How about "Won't"?

As in "I won't return soon."

I had to cancel the in-home techie service for later today because the PC problem has been causing the Internet/TV service to crash all day and the ISP could not solve that problem remotely. So now the ISP is sending a techie in maybe 24 hours. In the meantime, I will be taking the system back to the store where their in-house techies can solve my problem without hopefully crashing their internet.

You’ve heard the expression ‘From bad to worse’? That’s a trend. I’m hoping for a trend reversal soon because it can’t get worse than this.

I have just disproven the proverb, ‘You get what you pay for.’

If and when I return is TBD.