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Wizard: Well, I appreciate the opportunity you're giving me as the number one capital markets trader, so to speak, to address your sales meeting -- excuse me, annual shareholders' meeting.

As you know, Mr. Sell-Side, I'm short, the Dow was down another 100 points today, and my time is valuable.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're not here to indulge in fantasy, but in political and economic reality... America, America has become a second-rate capital market. Its deficiency in wealth creation for the owners of capital and its fees and charges are at nightmare proportions.

Now, in the days of the curb market, when our country had the world's top securities exchange, there was accountability to the owners of capital. The Carnegies, the Mellons, the men that built this great capitalist empire, made sure of it because it was their money at stake.

Today, the Street -- Mr. Sell-Side and his colleagues here -- has no stake in the market! It's your game, Mr. Sell-Side, but (pointing to Buy-Side) their skin!

All together, these men sitting up there on Wall Street [Broker-Dealer and Mutual Fund management] own less than 3 percent of the equity market. And where did Mr. Grasso put his hundred million-dollar salary?

Not directly in the market; but with his Broker-Dealer friends!

You Mr. Buy-Side own the capital market. That's right -- you, Buy-Side, the owner of the market's capital.

(Applause)

And you are all being royally screwed over by these, these financial intermediaries, with their, their steak luncheons, their hunting and fishing trips, ..their, their corporate jets and golden parachutes.

(Boos from the audience)

Mr. Sell-Side: This is an outrage! You're out of line, Wizard!

Wizard: The NYSE, Mr. Sell-Side, your New York Stock Exchange, has 33 different vice presidents, each earning over one million dollars a year.

Now, I have spent the last two months analyzing what all these guys do for a so-called not-for-profit organization, and I still can't figure it out. One thing I do know is that our capital market lost two trillion dollars since 1999, and I'll bet that half of that was spent in all the paperwork going back and forth between all these vice presidents, and in chasing after Grasso's money.

And after all the costs of investing in mutual funds are taken into account, including the portfolio manager's fees and his operating costs, transaction charges, and opportunity costs holding uninvested cash in these funds and your sales commissions and other sales charges, Buy-Side actually loses money.

Yes, he loses money.

The new law of evolution in the capital market seems to be survival of the Sell-Side!

Well, in my book, you either do it right or you get eliminated.

(Cheers from the audience)

Mr. Sell-Side: Stop this nonsense. You'll never get rid of me! You short-seller, you.

I ought to call the SEC. Maybe even the President, because you're Un-American.

Wizard: Thankfully it's not un-American to be a short-seller. On the other hand, Mr. Sell-Side; in the USA alone, the Government's SEC sees fit to permit Buy-Side to pay its mutual fund managers directly for advisory fees the shocking total of $80 billion dollars annually -- over 1.1% of over $7 trillion -- which is a travesty when, as Mr. Morningstar tells us, 80% of your portfolio managers cannot even keep up to the market indexes. And those are available to Buy-Side for zero advisory fees.

Worst yet, another 1.5% on average or more -- another $120 billion -- is wasted on the fund managers' operating cost charges, transaction fees and opportunity costs.

When you factor in taxes, Buy-Side's annual cost of mutual funds is 4.9% in the U.S. and 5.7% in Canada, according to that great American Jack Bogle.

The joke of it, Mr. Sell-Side, is that this $200 billion annual throwaway by Buy-Side is based on No Load funds. If Buy-Side paid a sales load of say five percent, and generously amortized this cost over ten years, then he blew another 0.5% annually.

If say 50% of mutual funds are load funds, that's another $35 billion wasted.

Is it any wonder why I implore Buy-Side to switch to ETFs, and save $235 billion annually? That's Exchange Traded Funds, in case you haven't heard.

Now, here's the skinny, the bottom-line, Mr. Sell-Side. In the last seven trades that I've been involved with, there were 2.5 million independent traders " some even from Japan and Communist China -- who with my advice have made a pre-tax profit of 12 billion dollars.

(Applause) Thank you.

I am not a destroyer of capital markets. I am a liberator of them!
(Huge applause)

The point is, ladies and gentleman, is that value-add -- for lack of a better word -- is good.

Value-add is right.

Value-add works.

Value-add clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the free-enterprise spirit.

Value-add, in all of its forms -- value-add for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind.

And value-add -- you mark my words -- will not only save Mr. Buy-Side, but that other malfunctioning entity called the U.S. of A.

Thank you very much.

(Applause from Buy-Side for Trader Wizard, as Mr. Sell-Side suffers apoplectic seizure, bringing fewer people to his aid than expected.)